I sit here in my Loudi bedroom with my children asleep and grab a few moments to myself and my thoughts. Lian my Loudi girl is tucked in bed asleep in the city she was born to. I tucked her in tonight in this her hometown .... I will again for the next 2 nights. I absorb the sounds and smells so foreign to my nostrils and wonder if she has any memory of this city these smells .... I wonder as always of the circumstances of my daughters birth family. Is "She" her Muquin awake now, has she any sense of a hair pricking the back of her neck or has a shiver run over her not due to the cooler night???
So many unanswered questions so close and sharp this night. They will fade again and ebbe and flow as they always do, like a contraction. I hope she is safe and well.
I think back to a wonderful event only 2 days ago - I went to visit a family who have a toddler daughter -Jia. This beautiful daughter was born to the 3rd generation living in that small, but loved filled apartment I had the privilege to sip tea in. Their one and only great-grandchild or grandchild or child was born VERY tiny and cleft affected. They explained to me how this might have been a reason to not will her on to survive or even a reason to abandon her. But no, the grandfather whose heart is full of love for his family spent hours upon hours feeding his too tiny gand-daughter by a spoon as she could not suck due to her cleft problems. He had been widowed when his own daughter was in her early teens and had raised her with the help of his mother and a very good aunt. This aunt saw the LWB Hefei cleft mission report on Anhui TV and rushed to their home to rally them to get a long distance bus to the hospital to plead with the LWB team to operate. I was there that day when Jia, her Mom and Granddad came to our operational office room. I saw so much love and cried that day. They were united. Jia was wearing a knitted jumper with Irish colours and even though too young for the cleft team to operate we vowed to help her. The Irish LWB supporters would find the funds. Arrangements were made that she come back just before the next Chinese New Year for her lip repairs.
Jia did and went on to celebrate Spring festival with a new smile and was welcomed by her extended family. A year later she received her palate surgery and is charming all who know her. She ran ahead of us and patted the chair for Lian to sit down. I sat on her Great-grandmothers bed and held the hand of a great woman who has reared a loving family. I held that hand for a long time. At 80 years old she is now paralizied on one side from stroke but still the neighbours and family have done their own PT and have got her semi mobile. The Grandfather similarly had a stroke and was nursed back to health by the neighbours. A hugely united community who gathered together to help and encourage their members, who helped them on their way that year and a half ago and sent a letter on commendation with them asking the hospital to look kindly on their kin.
I sat in that home on Great-grandmothers bed and thought ; this is what makes humanity great. Love.
So I go to bed now thinking that somehow my Lian's birthmom made a decission that was to help "our" daughter.
We send our love,
Julie