Waiting Child Adoption

A friend on the Waiting Child list posted this quote by Martin Luther King, Jr today:

"The day our lives begin to end is the day we remain silent about things that matter."

It sure is easier to remain silent, isn't it? It sure is easier to live in our comfortable homes and think that the most important issue of the day is where we want to go out to eat that night or whether we can get our kids to soccer practice on time. It sure is easy to not think outside our own little space. Does it matter that millions of children around the world live every single day without a mother or father to care for them? Does it matter that so many orphaned children with medical needs don't have access to the healthcare that could improve their lives? Does it matter that many are unable to go to public school? Or that they go to bed each night feeling that their special need might define them for the rest of their lives? I think those who love children would say it matters greatly.

The woman who posted the quote went on to say: "Let's not keep silent about the things that matter..... all these precious children who need love. " I hope everyone whose life has been touched by the miracle of adoption chooses to be vocal and encourages those around them to consider building a family in this wonderful way. Those of us who track the waiting children lists often watch child after child have their adoption files returned without being chosen. I looked up the opposite of "chosen" online, and the word that I saw made me cringe. Did you know the opposite of chosen is "rejected?" What an awful word that is.

It is a sad reality that thousands of children around the world each year are abandoned. We all wish that wasn't the case. But for many... there is still hope. The staff in their orphanages who care for them prepare their files and send them forward with the hope of a new family. But for some, particularly the boys....no one ever comes forward. The time goes by and their files are returned without being chosen. The hope of a family is gone.

Right now on so many great agency lists....there are children who are waiting and who have not been chosen. It is hard to believe that with millions of potential parents in the United States, that there isn't a family for every child who shows up on an adoption list. We know adoption is expensive. We know it is most definitely a leap of faith. But all of us at LWB believe completely that every child born deserves to know what it really means to be loved. And when there is a will to become a parent, there is almost always a way....whether it is through domestic adoption or international.

Let's not keep silent about the fact that so many orphaned children are waiting for homes. Have you seen Winter on Small World's list? She DOES NOT DESERVE to be orphaned for the rest of her life. Her smile tells us all that she is child, who if just given the chance, will accomplish great things in this world. Have you seen Bumble Bee boy on CWA's list? What family wouldn't love to tuck him in at night? Or little Dallas with CHI, whose caregivers wrote: "We all love him and wish him to have a beautiful future." These precious children and so many more are waiting right now for a family to choose them for their own.

Help spread the news that so many kids are waiting for homes. You never know....the person you tell might have been praying that very day for a way to become a parent. The majority of people around us have absolutely no idea that so many children wait. Let's not be silent....because every child on this earth truly does matter.

Special Needs Adoption

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

I was forwarded this link today about special needs adoption. The couple featured in the story are friends of ours, and they are such a great family. I loved this video because the dad is honest about his original feelings about the waiting child path of adoption but then talks about how his little boy is absolutely and completely his SON.

Dr. Buckmiller, who has done three LWB cleft missions, was the physician who did the little boy's surgeries. I think this is a very nice video to promote SN adoptions.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1111406010/bclid932553089/bctid1355448067

Joey

There is a beautiful seven year old boy in Guangdong province who is in need of his own mom and dad to love him. His medical need is that he was burned as a child, but he has not let that stop him from going to kindergarten, making lots of friends, and charming the socks off of everyone who meets him. Right in his adoption file it says that he can make a friend out of anyone in 30 minutes flat. This little boy only has a few days left before his file is due to go back to China.....unchosen. Isn't that a horrible word? Unchosen. It is hard to believe that any child would have to carry that label.

This particular little boy weighs heavy on my heart tonight for a reason I want to explain. You see....his orphanage first contacted us to see if we could help him medically with his burns. But as soon as we heard about how smart he was and how personable, we convinced the orphanage that his real hope was in being adopted. The orphanage wasn't sure. They didn't think anyone would want to adopt an older boy, and one with burns on his body. But we assured them that somewhere there was a family waiting for a little boy just like him. And so the orphanage agreed. But then the province was also unsure, and so we once again said, "we know there will be a family". Finally his file was sent up to Beijing and then on to a US adoption agency. And no family has yet been found.

I think it is important for me to interject a story here, and my apologies to my friend Lisa for not getting her permission first to tell it. I hope she will forgive me. When I was first getting started with my work in China, one of the orphanages we helped did not do many special needs adoptions. They didn't think that the kids would be chosen, and so many of the children were getting older and watching only the healthy babies leave for their new homes. They would hear the aunties say to the babies, "oh today is a lucky day....you will have a family to love you." And the preschoolers and older kids would think to themselves....'it must be wonderful to have a family pick you.'

Well, we were going to do a heart surgery for one little girl in this orphanage, and so I asked for a photo of her so that we could raise funds. This orphanage didn't have a lot of nice clothing, so for this special photograph they wanted the little girl to look nice. Another little girl in the orphanage, named Yan, who was just three years old, had been given a beautiful red coat by a volunteer, and she loved that red coat and wore it all the time. The aunties went and took off her red coat to put on the child with heart disease for her photo, and Yan burst into tears crying. The aunties scolded her and said, "Yan, you must share your red coat...don't be selfish", but Yan kept crying and crying and kept trying to climb over the gate to get out in the hallway where the photo was being taken. Finally one aunty had heard enough, and so she walked over to Yan to take her back into the room. As she got closer, she realized that Yan was NOT crying because the other little girl was wearing her coat. No, not at all. Yan was crying while saying over and over, "take MY picture...please take MY picture. I want a family....take my picture so I can have a family, too. "

You see, at the ripe old age of three, Yan had already learned that the only way a baby got a family was by having her picture taken first. And she wanted a family of her own so badly, that she was crying to her aunties to please take her photo, too.

I wanted to share this story because the reason I am so sad that Joey hasn't found a home yet doesn't have anything to do with the fact that we told his orphanage a family would be found, or that we told provincial that certainly there was a family for him. I am sad thinking about Joey because I know exactly what happened when they prepared his adoption file earlier this year. I have been in orphanages when they do the files, and each and every time the aunties try to make the kids look at cute as possible. They say things like, 'smile pretty so a family will pick you." I am sad when I think about Joey's file, because I know he had probably gotten used to the idea that there would not be a family coming for him because of his burns....and then we went and placed hope back into his heart. I am sure he knew exactly why the orphanage was taking his photos that day, and I am sure the staff told him to look as handsome and clever as possible so that a family would choose him. Tonight I am thinking about this handsome little boy who is probably wondering each day now if his photo was good enough for a family to choose him.

So far.....no one has.

If you know anyone who might be open to adding a little boy to their family, please let them know about Joey. More information about him can be found here: http://www.swa.net/children.php

I still want to believe that there is someone out there who is wanting a little boy to love and read stories to. Surely there is someone out there who would want to teach him to fish, show him how to hit a baseball, and who would let him ride on their shoulders feeling like he was the king of the world. Surely somewhere there is a family who can give Joey the unbelievable gift of knowing he is CHOSEN, so that he can finally be home where he belongs.